Because I was emotionally needy a lot of my younger life, I often asked for help, but secretly felt ashamed of doing so and “bothering” my family and friends. I’ve come to believe, however, that being unwilling to receive is as stingy and withholding as is failing to give when appropriate and needed. As we so readily see during catastrophes, people want to be helpful. Giving makes us feel useful; therefore, give-and-take is a good thing. And the good news is, receiving helps facilitate and speed up our healing process; therefore, we are able to share the fruits of love with others sooner.
Mother Teresa assured us, “Love is a fruit in season at all times.” In fact, we all have so much sweetness we yearn to give each other. When we are able to receive help and support from family and friends, we give them a chance to share their fruits of love with us and give ourselves the opportunity to be nourished into healing. On the other hand, refusing help from others is a bit like saying, “I can’t accept your fruit because it is sweeter than I deserve,” or perhaps, “Your fruit isn’t sweet enough for me.”
Both the giving and receiving of love and sweet support are gifts.
Excerpted from How to Stay Upbeat in a Beat Down World by Sue Patton Thoele. Available on Amazon.
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