Taking Time-Outs

While many younger women may never have heard them, I was raised on a myriad of expressions like “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop,” “A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done,” and “It’s good to stay as busy as a beaver.” As a child, I must have taken the implied lessons in these platitudes to heart, because for most of my adult life, it was next to impossible to give myself permission to take a break during daylight hours. I was so brainwashed by those childhood sayings that I often overlooked blatant signals I had run out of steam and needed to take a break. As a result, I was often overtired, overworked, and overwhelmed, not to mention feeling royally ticked off at those around me who were being mindful and honoring of their own energy levels.

My dear friend Bonnie is a person who rests, and consequently, she earned my ire early in our relationship. Her ability to rest eventually taught me incredibly valuable lessons about the art of taking time-outs. To this day, Bonnie is astutely aware of times when her energy dips too low and resolutely honors her need to rest. To boost her energy, she’s been known to sit quietly with a cup of tea, adjourn a workshop we were cofacilitating to take a five-minute breather, or slip out of her own wedding reception to be restored by a few minutes of solitude in the sun. Before I could admit how absolutely horrible I was at paying attention to and honoring my own energy depletion, I projected onto Bonnie all the labels I was afraid would be pasted on me if I allowed myself to take rejuvenating time-outs. The fear of being thought selfish, rude, self-indulgent, or lazy kept me from being mindful of my own needs.

Excerpted from The Woman's Book of Mindfulness by Sue Patton Thoele. Available on Amazon.