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  • SuePattonThoele

Saving Yourself

Unlike the previous meditation on teaching people how to treat us, this one is about abusive relationships. I don’t know what it is like to be in an abusive relationship. Although I’ve had clients who were caught in the tentacles of toxic relationships, the closest I’ve come to being directly involved was putting a client on a plane in Hawaii in order to keep her safe from a violent husband.

As I understand from clients, and three close friends who were abused wives, there are countless reasons that make it feel impossible to leave a cruel spouse. These women told me that freeing themselves from the tyranny of emotional manipulation and/or physical abuse required more strength than they thought they had, but they did it because they had to in order to survive emotionally and physically. Maybe the strength to save yourself is exactly what your soul is asking you for right now.

If you are in a relationship in which the only growth is that of fear—fear for yourself, fear for your children, fear of punishment— please do not try to continue alone. To survive, and eventually thrive, you need a circle of safety.

To get a sense of your options, it may be wise to call a hotline where professional abuse counselors can guide you to help. (Because a record of your call can be found by abusers, for your safety, make the call from a phone the abuser does not have access to.)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7

and is toll free:

  • 1-800-799-7233 and 1-800-787-3224 for Deaf and Hearing Impaired

The Teen Dating Abuse Hotline is also available 24/7 and

toll free:

  • 1-866-331-9474 and 1-866-331-8453 for Deaf and Hearing Impaired

During your day...

  • Please know you are lovable and I, and thousands of other women, are holding you in our hearts and praying for your safety and well-being.

You and your children, if you have them, deserve

to be physically and emotionally safe.

Excerpted from The Woman's Book of Strength by Sue Patton Thoele. Available on Mango and Amazon.

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