top of page
  • SuePattonThoele

Being Here, Now

One of the best ways to practice self-compassion is being aware of where you spend most of your waking hours. Is it in the present moment, the unknown future, or the pitfalls of the past?

Of course, it’s great to revisit the fun stuff down Memory Lane as well as experience an exhilarating spine-tingle or two peeking up Anticipation Alley. But it is self-compassionate to be wary of the maybe-never-gonna-happen worries dotting the landscape along Fear Freeway into the future and cautious of the depressions and rough patches marring the surface of Regret Road leading to the past.

Whether we do or don’t have past regrets or future fears, it’s healthier for all of us to spend the majority of our time in the present rather than the past or the future. I know this is probably the million and oneth time you’ve heard it’s wise to stay in the present moment and that my metaphor is incredibly corny, but maybe it’s silly enough to stick. For both of us. I often used to take the rough road back into the past and wallow around in regrets and resentments I couldn’t change, but I don’t do it much anymore. I imagine that the many years and much practice I’ve had learning how to heal the past, release resentments, and make amends have made the difference. I don’t spend much time thinking about the future either. Maybe that’s one of the perks of aging, or possibly, I finally know and love myself enough to believe I can handle whatever does come along, so why worry? This is a huge relief, as I used to be a wizard at worrying.

That said, if things in your past can be healed or amends need to be made, by all means, do it. If deep-seated wounds are still waiting for healing, please approach them gently and with help, if need be. Just today, I was feeling grateful to recently have had help in cleaning out a festering old wound and being able to forgive myself for allowing it and the other for inflicting it. If you know you need to make amends, give yourself the gift of at least attempting to bring the situation into balance and harmony. If that is impossible in the real world because the person is dead, unavailable, or unapproachable, you can still complete the process in the spiritual realm. This, too, may require some guidance.

During your day...

  • Consciously bring yourself into the present moment four or five times.

  • If past wounds, given or received, need healing, take one small step toward doing so.

  • While in the present moment, say “Hi” to your soul.

Human beings can only be in the present.

In the past, we were. In the future, we will be.

Excerpted from The Woman's Book of Strength by Sue Patton Thoele. Available on Mango and Amazon.


bottom of page