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  • SuePattonThoele

Altering Misperceptions

Interestingly, our strength and ability to love are both more dependable when augmented by self-compassion, yet many of us still carry the misperception that loving ourselves is selfish. My phone dictionary defines selfish as “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.” Is that you? Nope, me neither.

You and I both understand that self-care and self-compassion are wise and healthy choices, but I bet you sometimes fear you’re being selfish if you put yourself first. I know I do. But, thankfully, only rarely now that I’ve ripened into crone category. And, of course, at this age my responsibilities are a fraction of what they were when all four kids were home and both Gene and I were working. Sometimes we look at each other and say, “How did we do that?” One reason was we had each other, and I’m sure many of you reading do not have that luxury.

However, memories of a four-year stint as a single mom with little money are branded on my psyche, so I know it’s incredibly challenging. It’s time to give yourself a break and alter any misperceptions you may be harboring regarding self-compassion and self-care. Self-

compassion and self-care are necessary, essential, crucial, vital.... They restore your energy, ground your strength, rest your weary body and mind, and refill the vessel of your being from which I’m sure you are more often serving others rather than yourself.

During your day...

  • Give self-compassion a shot. If you question whether an action or lack of action is selfish, imagine what you would tell a dear friend if she asked you about a similar decision.

  • Nourish best from overflow.

Self-care means giving the world the best of

you instead of what is left of you.

—Katie Reed

Excerpted from The Woman's Book of Strength by Sue Patton Thoele. Available on Mango and Amazon.


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