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  • SuePattonThoele

Integrating Heart and Head



In our quest to live balanced, happy lives, learning to integrate the feminine heart and masculine head energies within our own psyches is essential. Both energies are God given, and each has beneficial qualities. Many men and women have recognized that true balance comes from liberating the feminine in men and the masculine in women. In reality, almost everything worth doing or being requires both heart and head attributes to be successful. Life is much easier and more fun when both are balanced and cooperative.


I’ve noticed many of us, male and female alike, are expressing more head than heart energy. That’s okay as long as your behavior feels comfortable and genuine. Although I can be competitive in games, I don’t feel right expressing hard-edged, aggressive energy except in the privacy of my own mind or with a trusted friend who is not the target. In order not to suffer guilt and remorse, I need to transform conquering and controlling mental energy before I talk with someone about issues and misunderstandings. Only after taking the aggression out of my feelings can I engage in a heart-centered discussion with the hope of finding more understanding and a win-win solution for everyone. Others I know find fiery encounters stimulating and fun. No matter what your individual comfort zones, the important thing is to relate to yourself and others authentically.

If you spend a great deal of time in an environment that demands a lot of mind/striving/outer head energy, you instinctively know when it’s time to give intuitive/relational/feminine heart energy some attention. On the other hand, if you spend most of your time nurturing your family or in a career such as nursing, your mental head side could probably use some time in the spotlight. Balancing both energies promotes peace of mind, heart, and body.


During your day...

  • With an open mind and heart, notice how much time you spend in your head versus your heart.

  • Does the balance feel like an authentic representation of who you are? If so, great. If not, what changes might be helpful?

The authentic self is the soul made visible.

—Sarah Ban Breathnach

Excerpted from The Woman's Book of Strength by Sue Patton Thoele. Available on Mango and Amazon.

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